One of the things I really enjoy doing is reading. It seems like I’m always looking for a book on leadership; or maybe a biography to read. But one book in particular that I read a few months ago was a book by Bill Hybels called “Axiom”. Bill describes axioms as powerful leadership proverbs. To be honest, when I first bought the book I had no idea what an Axiom was. But I’ve since learned first hand the power they can have in people’s lives personally and in a team environment when used in the right way.
After I had finished reading the book I decided to try an experiment at one of our monthly “all staff meetings”. I had decided ahead of time to use one of the axioms’s I read in Bill’s book called, “How Are you doing…Really?” As Bill says in his book, in American culture, when you ask people how they’re doing, they’re nearly always “fine”. So if you want to convey that you are actually interested in hearing the truth about what’s going on in that persons inner world, and if you want to give the other person permission to answer you honestly, then you have to pose the question just a bit differently.
As we were all sitting around the room getting ready for the meeting to start I just simply asked “how’s everyone doing”. And I got the typical response; good, fine, everything’s great. But then I went around to each person individually and simply asked, “How are you doing…really? And wow! What a difference when I just took a minute to pause and show a deeper interest in the lives of those that I lead. What transpired over the next hour and a half was simply amazing as people began to open up and share from their hearts. With tears running down their cheeks they began sharing with the group the pains they were currently facing; their hurts, and their fears. Needless to say, the Holy Spirit ministered in a way we had never witnessed before. Hearts were encouraged; burdens were shared; and the whole atmosphere changed dramatically!
And now, several months later, even though we have many axiom’s that we use on a monthly basis; we always begin every meeting with the question, “How are you doing….really? As I was thinking about what transpired those many months ago; I was reminded of a verse out of Galatians 6:2 which says “carry one another’s burdens”. That’s what we were doing! I was so glad that I took the time to find out what was going on their world; not just for leadership sake; but for love’s sake too. The Lord taught me that the people I lead need to know that they’re part of a “burden-carrying team”. When you create an atmosphere of genuine community it helps to keep our hearts tender toward each other and our collective prayers more focused.
For the people in your life, (you’re family, you’re friends, and you’re co-workers and neighbors) I want to encourage you to take the time to simply ask the question “how are you doing….really?” You might be surprised at the response you get when people know that you genuinely care about them!
By the way….”How are you doing….Really?”